You might be thinking, "Wow, Kris, you were quite the slobby fat ass growing up. No wonder there is a child obesity problem in this country. You're the posterchild for it." Normally, I'd say that's a logical thought, but the reality was that I was eating a good 4000-5000 calories per day, and in high school I was 5'9" and 135 lbs at my heaviest. I was an eating machine. I don't eat like that anymore (although I wish I could), but even as an adult I can still eat a helluva lot when I want to. One time, while eating lunch with some friends, I ordered a gigantic half sausage half hamburger smothered in chili with a side order of chili fries. Keep in mind the plate of chili fries was about the same size as a platter at a Mexican restaraunt. The waitress said, "If you can actually eat all that, you can have it for free." My friends replied, "Oh man, you have no idea how much he can eat." So I ate it all, and true to her word, I got it for free. I was so full that I didn't eat again for another 24 hours, but I ate it nonetheless. The point is that I eat a lot and I cost my parents a lot of money growing up.
Fast forward now to parenthood. I have two boys who on occasion (thankfully not every meal), will eat extremely large quantities of food. If they are doing this now at ages 6 and 3, I cringe at how much they are going to cost us in food growing up. As Alex, who is still only 3 years old, put down 4 slices of pizza last night, I started to reflect on some of the amazing feats they've accomplished so far in their young eating careers. Here are some highlights that I can remember--although there are so many more that I can't remember--for most food eaten per sitting:
- 7 chicken nuggets (age 3)
- 4 hot dogs (ages 4 and 5)
- entire mini pizza (ages 3 and up)
- 4 waffles; multiple times he's done this (age 6)
- 3 hot dogs, helping of veggies, cup of yogurt, cup of pudding (ages 4 and up)
- 3 slices of pizza, an entire large cucumber, and a popsicle (age 6)
- half a Red Baron-sized pizza (age 3)
- half a hamburger, 1 hot dog, cup of peaches, side of green beans (age 1)
- 3 waffles and 1 pancake (age 3)
- 4 pancakes (age 3)
- 4 hot dogs (age 2)
- 7 chicken nuggets (age 2)
There are other times where they've eaten a normal size main portion, but we gave them as much fruit and veggies as they were willing to eat. Oh, and that child obesity issue: both boys are skinny as a rail.
Well, it looks like I'm now being paid back two-fold for all the food I ate and the money it cost to feed me. Let's hope I can afford to send them to college after paying for all their food.